Nature

When I first read the poem State of The Planet by Robert Hass, I’ll be honest, I didn’t understand it at all.  So much so that I did more skimming that in depth reading because I had no idea what it was talking about.  Reading it as a class and going over it as a whole really helped me a lot, though I don’t fully understand it still.  After going through the images on the power point, the poem came alive and I can see it now as a very vivid story.

I liked going over the “nature poems” of scripture in class.  I thought it was a little silly because they are taken out of context for the sake of looking like a nature poem, but I nonetheless see where it plays in.  I see these scriptures as a reminder that we are to adore God’s creation.  I think this appreciation comes differently for different people.  For me, I love being outside in cool air around fall time, maybe in the mountains.  There I find a sort of essence of God, not that that is the only place God can be, but that is where I am most apt to soak in the beauty he has displayed around us.  It is where I can sit in silence and become hungry for God, like in the line of Hass’ poem “she’s one of those who’s only hungry metaphorically.” 

I think the reason we don’t see nature as something amazing is because we are used to it.  Something that we see everyday usually loses its flair.  But then when we see parts of nature such as waterfalls and colorful tropical forests, we are astounded by the wonderful creation of it.  I think it is important for us to see and experience new things often.  It serves as a reminder of how marvelous and big our God really is.

Class Discussion

I am not sure what to write about to this blog because I certainly did not understand any of the poems we had to read for next class.  Even looking up words I didn’t know didn’t help.  I am not good with poetry because I feel like people put random things together and expect them to make sense. 

I guess for this post I will write about our discussion in class.  In class we talked about the use to cuss words in literature.  Corrigan pointed out that they are used sometimes to stress the degree of anger or expression by someone.  I think though, that they are unnecessary.  You can say something else and still make it as strong as if you used a cuss word.  I understand that this class is to expose us to all sorts of literature and view things the way the world does, but don’t you think we are already exposed to it enough?  I know I am at least, having gone through public schools up to this point.  It sort of makes me think that there is no good Christian literature out there that isn’t corny or a love story.  Personally, whenever reading the texts for class it is a distraction whenever I come across a cuss word.  I will be enjoying the story and then I get distracted because of the fact that I have to read things at a Christian University about subjects I myself should strive to stay away from, such as cussing and a big one that comes up in our readings, sex.

It was argued in class that it doesn’t say don’t cuss in the bible so it is okay.  Which I 100 percent disagree with because it in fact is in the bible it just doesn’t say “don’t say these specific words.”  Also, it was pointed out that in some cultures it is not offensive to say certain words, but as Christians we are not to conform to culture- we are supposed to be set apart.  Like in the example of being a minister to gangs…just because they cuss doesn’t mean you have to so they don’t think you think that you are better than them.  That’s like saying well they kill people, so you should too. 

At the end of Romans 12:17 it say “Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.”  To me that mean that cussing, along with drinking and other things, the world knows that “Christians don’t do that” and therefore to not look like hypocrites and to not lead anyone astray, we should not do them.

Lectio Divina

For this post I decided to do my own Lectio Divina on a poem that could be spiritually related, and at the end I tried to look a little beyond and before the text.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

-Robert Frost

Lectio: sorry I could not travel both, bent, having perhaps the better claim and that has made all the difference

Meditatio:  Although one way may look better before the bend, it may not always be the best route to choose.

Oratio: “Lord, as I am looking down two paths to take help me to choose the right one.  One may look better than the other at the moment, but I want to take the path you want me to be on.  I can’t see the ending of either one, so I am a little frightful of which to choose.  Make it clear which way you want me to go Lord, and I will wear that path down as I follow it till the end.”

            “In this world full of choices help me to keep on the straight and narrow.  God, in those times where the other road looks so inviting and the world makes it seem as the “better claim” guide me away from it.  Although it may seem like in is the road less traveled to follow you, I know it will make all the difference.  In times where I feel as though I should be ashamed (sigh) or when I doubt, shine your light on the right path.  I want to give a sigh of relieve when it is over.  Always remind me that you are there and others are making that path worn with me.  And after I cross that bend that I can’t see pass, all the glory will be to you for I know you have great things beyond that bend.”

Sonny's Blues

As with all of the stories read for this class, while I am reading I look for the answer to the question “why did Corrigan have us read this particular story?”  I guess this takes away from reading the stories sometimes, especially when I can’t find the answer to that question.  This story was one of those examples.  It also was hard to follow.

I pretty much understood this story, until the ending.  Not to sound cynical or anything, but to me it seemed just like every other story about an African American family living in the projects.  All of the hardships seem to be the same, death, alcoholic family members, drugs, and family problems, just seen in a different way. 

Not to say I necessarily didn’t like this story, a few things did stick out to me.  One was when Sonny was talking about joining the army or some branch of the military.   His reason was “to get out of Harlem.”  This upset me a little.  I just had a conversation with a friend from back home before reading this story about how he wasn’t to join the military.  I specifically asked him why he wanted to, sincerely because he wants to serve his country or because it’s the only thing he think he can do.  It makes me sad when people use the military-which is pretty much a death trap- to escape their current life.  There is so much more you can do than to throw your life away just because you are unhappy with the way it is right now.

This story as a whole, all of the problems Sonny had gone through touched me, especially because he was so young.  At first, I thought Sonny was older, so it didn’t bother me as much.  God has placed  a compassion in me for youth who struggle, no matter what it is- hurt, drugs, drinking, self-harm, anything like that so this story made me want to reach of to Sonny in some way.  I am glad though, that he found some sort of escape which was his music.  At least he could take all of his troubles and find a peace with them by letting out his emotions in music.

A wonderful classtime OUTSIDE!

I have really enjoyed the past week in this class.  Writing the short story was by far my favorite blog post thus far.  It allowed me to be creative and let my imagination do the work, not just my mind reflecting on some story we read.  My story was a sort of love story, but not a typical one.  The main character was round and towards the end dynamic.  The only other character, “me”, was flat because I did not explain myself hardly at all, expect for my thoughts about the main character.  I would say that my character shifts between static or dynamic. 

My favorite part of this assignment was going outside and talking about our stories in a group.  I think that my group was perfect- all of the stories in some way related to me.  One thing in particular that we talked about after reading each story was why did you write this? What was on your mind at the time?  I really didn’t think mine had any significance, just a random fiction story, but I realized that my story did hold some truth to it.  Topics and situations that were on my mind at the time came out in my writing.  I would say that mine was more of a wishful thinking type of story, but it revealed a lot about the way I thought.  The last line couple lines, “’Why do you cover yourself up?’ I asked him.  Without him saying anything, as if a voice from heaven I heard “for you.”  At that moment I knew what he (somehow)knew all along.  He was the one I have been looking for.  I was the one he had been waiting for,” really puts my mind and spirit into writing.  I didn’t notice this though, until after I wrote it and we were discussing the question as to why we wrote what we did on the other stories.  Waiting especially and looking have really been on my heart lately in dealing with some things.  I think it’s crazy that our inner thoughts can subconsciously come out when we do things such as writing.

Like I said before, I really enjoyed the other stories too.   There were bits and pieces in each of that that really spoke to me and it seemed that most of them had some commonality within them.

The boy that noone ever saw. The boy that I never saw.

*Disclaimer: It may seem like it at first, but this is not a creeper story.  And it may not make sense.  I really can't get whats in my head out on paper.

There he was again.  The strange, mysterious boy walking around with that same black hoodie covering what seemed to be all if his skin that could possibly show.  By this time it was fall, so jackets were typical, but the fact that his whole head was covered… night and day, in and outside of classes…this is why it was unusual.  No one ever saw his face.  No one ever wanted to. 

Everyone avoided him, yet everyone’s stares and comments didn’t.  All that I heard of this boy was that he was weird.  So many rumors and stories went around I didn’t know which to believe.  The reason he wore the coat, I heard, was to hide his face because he was so ugly.  Some said he had a deformity.  Others said he was just…well…ugly.  He never talked to anyone.  Always walked around swiftly in his dark colored converse shoes with his hands in his jean pockets, and never would take a glance at anyone.  Even when others would say things to him, he’d just keep walking, ignoring them.  This was Jay.  Or at least that is what everyone called him.  Some said it was J as in he was a joke.  I want sure what to think of it.

For some reason I was always curious about this boy called Jay.  Every time I would see him walk by on campus I was always drawn to him for some reason, not in any way of affection but pure curiosity. I wasn’t afraid of him as everyone else seemed to be.   As if I was interested in finding out who this mysterious person with no face was. 

I would see this boy more and more over time.  It seemed like he enjoys being outside, as did I.  I would see him walking up and down the hills on campus, or sitting under the trees where red and orange leaves graced the ground.  Sometimes I even watched in as he walked off into the woods on the far side of campus.  I wondered what he was doing back there all by himself.  Or if he was even by himself.  Even though this sounds really strange, I never had suspicions of anything bad or the least bit crazy going on.   It all just caused honest curiosity. 

Then came this one day.  This one day that felt different from the time I woke up, but I had no idea why.  It was late afternoon and I was sitting outside on the patch of grass on a small hill as I do every day after classes to read and think.  He walked by on his way to wherever he goes at this time as usual.  Then suddenly it happened, the one thing that I had been “waiting” on all day to fill that peculiar feeling inside of me.  J, or Jay looked over at me.  It was a short glance, but I felt it- a direct look at me with maybe even a smile.  Yet, sadly, I still did not see his face and he kept on walking.  I wasn’t sure what to think of this.  Obviously it wasn’t an accident.  There it was, a feeling inside me rose up and I knew- “Why God?? Why me? Why do I have to be the one to talk to him?” I thought.  But then again, I still had this intense curiosity of who this boy was.  I had no idea how or when do go about doing this. 

Days past.  From that day on this was a reoccurring event.  I sat in the same spot after classes and Jay walked by and looked over, but I never got up the courage to talk to him.  What would I say? What would he do?  I just shrugged it off though I really want to go for it.  Over a week had past, and I expected it to be a normal day.  Jay would walk past, he would look and I would feel that slight smile from him, but on this day that didn’t happen.  He did walk past and look but this time he didn’t smile, it felt sort of like a frown, disappointment.

So then I did what I had to.  I ran over to the mysterious boy in the black hoodie.  “Hey!” I said, and surprisingly he said hi back in a rather deep voice.

“I see you walking all the time by yourself, can I walk with you?” I asked.

He gave a little chuckle and replied “of course.”

We walked around the campus for a while and talked.  I asked him why he never talks to anyone and is always alone.  I didn’t get far with that.  It seemed like that wasn’t important to him, sort of like he didn’t realize it.  We walked for about an hour and for some reason it seemed so normal.  He seemed so normal.  There must be something underneath that hood that makes him different I thought, but I didn’t dare ask. 

Since then this was an everyday occurrence.  Instead of sitting in my usual spot I spent my time finding out who this boy was.  His favorite color is blue.  He likes football.  His name IS Jay.  Jaysen to be exact.  He is studying history.  He wants to someday change the world.  He plays guitar and sings, and even let me hear him a couple times.  We talk about life.  He helps me understand myself in ways I couldn’t on my own. And still…I have never seen his face.

-------------------------------

It was like any other, a crisp chilly autumn afternoon, my favorite.  “Come with me” he said.  I followed him to the woods where I saw him walk to before.  I haven’t been back here much, but it was beautiful! I could see why he came back here to get away from everything.  He pulled me towards him, his soft hands gripping mine.  He lifted his hands to the top of his head, and slowly pulled back his hood.  I didn’t know what to expect, to be honest I was a little worried.  Would all of these wonderful qualities be wiped away with one glance at his face? 

He lowered his hands back down to his side and smiled at me unashamed.  All I could do was stare at him, shocked.  To my amazement he was…perfect.  Short dark brown hair and gleaming green eyes, a wonderful smile. 

“Why do you cover yourself up?” I asked him.  Without him saying anything, as if a voice from heaven I heard “for you.” 

At that moment I knew what he (somehow)knew all along.  He was the one I have been looking for.  I was the one he had been waiting for.

This Blessed House

Like most of the rest of the class, I did not do my reading for last class so I missed out on the discussion.  I might be lost on some points because of it, but here is what I got out of it:

Reading through This Blessed House at first, I was looking for something to happen.  The story kept building up and building up and I was waiting for a big twist or just something to happen in the story to give it a plot.  Then I was on the last page...still waiting for it, and much to my disappointment it didn’t come.  I can see that Professor Corrigan clearly gave us this reading assignment to focus on character, not for the entertainment of a story.

Throughout the story you could really see all five points we are to look for in Sanjeev as laid out in the notes on character: “physical description, what they say, the things they do, the way others respond to then, and their thoughts.”  The only character traits we can know of Twinkle is only Sanjeev’s description and thoughts of her.  Even though, Twinkle is more described than Sanjeev is leaving her to be round while he is flat.  I am not sure what label to put on wither of them dealing with dynamic and static.  Although Twinkle shows more to be excited and curious, she doesn’t change much throughout the story.  Sanjeev changes some, because he lets her keep the items in the house but I don’t think he changed in a dramatic way, so I think they are both static. 

As far as the story itself goes, I did enjoy reading it.  Like I said before though, it didn’t really have a climax or resolution so it seems to be unfinished.  Unfortunately, since they are Hindu they do not understand the sacredness of some items of Christianity, so it was a little sad.  It did made me think, what would I do if it was the other way around, if I found items of a different religion in a new house I bought?  To be honest, I would be a little freaked out if I found them hidden all over the house, but I do like learning about different religions and I too might keep something relating to one if I found it.