Interpretation

I really enjoyed the story A Very Old Man with Enormous Wings: A Tale for Children by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.  It is complex and contains many elements that symbolize something of a greater message and therefore needs to be interpreted.  There are so many different aspects in this story that I will try to cover, but I am sure there will be things left in the dark, because even so I still do not understand it in its entirety.  Whether it was intended to be or not, I took the story to be a very important message for Christians.  Mainly, I think this story touches on two main issues: not responding to personal miracles in the correct way and how we respond to the supernatural. 

In this story, the author used a simple universal symbol of an angel to represent the fullness of the supernatural.  This angel had come to Pelayo and his family to bring a healing.  It had been rainy and dreadful for three days and on top of that Pelayo and his wife Elisenda’s baby was sick.  When the angle, which appeared to them as no one had expected, came to them the land and the child was healed.  It has stopped raining and “a short time afterward the child woke up without a fever and with a desire to eat.”  How did they respond to this?  Instead of being grateful of the miracle, they threw the angel in a chicken coop and were none the less afraid of him.  I interpret this is how sometimes the church responds to miracles and the supernatural.  No, we don’t watch our backs and keep it in mind to club God to death, but sometimes we are afraid of the Spirit of God to move.  When He comes to us try and cover him up and shove him away.  This happens especially when he doesn’t show up the way we want him to, just like the angel in this story.

            The family and people who eventually came to see the angel were disappointed by his appearance.  To them, he looked only like an old man with wings.  There was nothing divine or lovely about him.  Who says angles have to be young and admirable?  Wasn’t Jesus said to be a not so handsome man himself?  Not only in physical attributes, but as a society in this day and age our expectations of God are too high.  Not that God isn’t as good as what we expect, but he doesn’t exist to meet our expectations.  People had come from all over to see the angle, to experience the angel, but he did not act in the way he wanted to.  Much the same God sometimes moves and answers prayers not always in the way we want him to.  Because of that, we may respond in negative ways.

            According to this story, another danger in response to the supernatural is making a show of it.  In this case the angel’s presence had literally become a circus.  They had a traveling carnival come in to add to the madness and because of the large amount of people showing up they charged to entry.  They were making profit for themselves rather than giving glory where it is due.  Also, there was a spider girl who was there to entice some kind of competition.  This is like when people look to the world to satisfy their desires or the demonic to show them “real” wonders.  As this story is filled with great examples of how ridiculous we act, one in particular caught my eye.  I had previously talked about it in my blog but I want to mention it again.  The line that says “the most unfortunate invalids on earth came in search of health: a poor woman who since childhood had been counting her heartbeats and had run out of numbers, a Portuguese man who couldn’t sleep because the noise of the stars disturbed him, a sleepwalker who got up at night to undo the things he had done while he was awake.”  This just points out how absurd our requests can be from God and the fact that these people weren’t healed by the angel show failure on their account, not him.  It made me think of how people claim that Paul “lost his power to heal people,” when what he did was tell them the obvious, not to drink the water because it was making them sick instead of performing some miracle.  The hype ended when no true miraculous signs were performed and the family was left very wealthy…sound like the American church today?

            The story ends with the angel flying away.  The family learned nothing from their experience with the angel.  Before the leaves though, it the child comes to visit him in the coop, and he doesn’t even respond to the child.  This paints an amazing picture of how God doesn’t leave us, he is still there, but when you resist him for too long he won’t move in your life.  When the angel started growing his wings back he didn’t even want to family to see.  Their expectations of a glorious angel would come true and since they didn’t receive him before he wasn’t going to reveal his beauty to meet their wants.  At the very end Elisenda was relieved for the angel to leave, but the last line says that she watched him go away and not he was “an imaginary dot in the horizon.”  At the end of it all, some people want to just adore God from far away rather than having him dwell in our lives personally, even after fully experiencing him.  This could be because its too much for us to handle, or it come to the point or being so redundant that the supernatural isn’t that “super” or filled with awe anymore.  At the beginning it said that the family observed the angel for too long they found him familiar.  Don’t let your relationship with God and his supernatural power become too familiar!  He should become new to us each day so that we can give him even more glory

Man with Enormous wings

I just love how Professor Corrigan makes us read all of these stories that make you end with saying “what???!” or feeling like you missed something BIG...not!

First off, the story is subtitles A Tale for Children; this implied to me that there was some kind of moral to the story.  I couldn’t find one, but maybe a child’s mind is simpler than ours and can figure it out.

The whole time I was reading this story I was trying to piece together information to try to figure out what was going on.  I thought that at the end there would be one great line that would make me understand the whole point to this story.  I don’t really know if my interpretation is correct, but this story made me think of how we view God and his works in our lives. 

We expect all of these things out of God and expect him to appear the way we want him to, and when he doesn’t we are disappointed.  The line that stuck out to me the most was when the author was talking about people who came in search of a cure.  “a poor woman who since childhood had been counting her heartbeats and had run out of numbers, a Portuguese man who couldn’t sleep because the noise of the stars disturbed him, a sleepwalker who got up at night to undo the things he had done while he was awake…”  All of these things they came for were ridiculous.  People are looking for God, or in this case the angel, to heal problems that would be fixed on their own or that aren’t even ailments to begin with.  This made me think of how people claim that Paul “lost his power to heal people,” when what he did was tell them the obvious, not to drink the water because it was making them sick instead of performing some miracle.  Sometimes people equivalate the workings of God to that of a carnival, and when that happens he WONT move.

This story has so many truths about what some do with God.  Use him as a show, make money, put him down when he doesn’t do what we want him to or meet OUR expectations of him. 

I still don’t fully understand the story, but it left me thinking “what do you do with God when he comes to you?”

Pass

I am using my second blog pass for Thursday's post on Omelas.

Philippians

So I was looking around at other’s blogs to help me along on this post, but I found pretty much the same as what I am thinking.  In reading the book of Philippians I could not find a lot of figurative language.  The whole time I was reading and would come across something as a possibility, I would think to myself, is that REALLY figurative?  It made me think that if I did not know the bible and know God as I do I would think more of it to be figurative.  But, a lot of what may seem figurative in this letter is not. 

            (Like the line “to live is Christ and to die is gain” I really don’t think that is a figure of speech)

I’m not sure if this is an example of figurative language, but Paul uses repetition of the words “joy” and “rejoice” throughout this letter.  Some metaphors I think are “in one spirit, which one mind, “work out your salvation with fear and trembling”, “but even if I am being poured out as a drink offering”, “that I may know him and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of his sufferings,” “whose god is their appetite.”  Although these are metaphors some of them are meant to be taken literally.  I think being a Christian we understand them to not be taken in a metaphorical sense. 

The biggest metaphor of this, as well as many others or Paul’s letters, is the relation of our walk with Christ to that of a race.  I think that we need terms like this to help put into perspective how we ought to really live this think out.  If it was not put in the bible to strive for the prize laid out before us and to keep pressing forward, I think this whole Christianity thing would become a lazy religious ritual.  Paul urges us to work together as the family he created us as, with our own unique personalities…of course we don’t literally have the same minds but we do essentially have the same spirit- the spirit of God.

Temple of the Holy Spirit

So, I read the story by Flannery O’Conner and I am a little, well of lot, confused and don’t really see the symbolism, but I will try to answer this I most.  I think may have to do way more thinking and searching for a deeper symbolism than I have time for, and isn’t that what we are not to do anyways when looking for symbolism?

Reading (what do you see): The basic plot (because I would be re-writing the story if I pointed out every detail) was that there is a little girl who is somewhat rude, two girls come to visit who go to school in a convent they are very looks-oriented and call themselves Temple 1 and Temple 2, these girls go out with two farmer boys to a fair who the little girl doesn’t like because they are from the Church of God, the girls tell the little girl(unnamed) about a man-woman person, she them falls asleep thinking of the temple of the Holy Spirit, she prays in the convent and seems to feel the spirit for the first time.

Interpreting (what does this say?): I think that maybe all of the other people are really the little girl’s mind trying to find who she really it.  I think that the woman-man revealed something to her by saying “God made me thisaway” and guided her to seeing that SHE is the temple of the Holy Spirit.

Criticizing (what does it matter): I think that this story is telling us that we are all the temple of the Holy Spirit.  We all have different personalities and different walks with God, but each of us hold something similar- the dwelling place of the Holy Spirit. 

Or

This story could be pointing out the fact that we don’t know who we are, or who we want to be (if the little girl was actually all of these characters), but the Holy Spirit will guide us into that insight as we make ourselves his home.

Play and Symbolism

 I went to see The Man Who Came to Dinner on Thursday night with Jessica and two of our friends.  I had no idea what this play was about since I have never read it even heard of it before.  I think it is better that way because then I have nothing to compare it to or nothing to criticize.  To me, if I already know what happens, the plot can’t build up and that takes away the suspense, which is why, at least I, people go see plays.  Instead, I got to sit back and enjoy it, which I did! 

What I liked most about this play was it had every aspect of stories; a good plot, humor, suspense, romance, and a little bit of action.  I also really like things set “back in the day.”  It is funny to see how the same problems existed back then, but how they are played out differently as well.  I thought that all of the characters things their parts amazingly, you really got to tap into their character.  You felt sorry for the kids, you loved Sherry’s friends, you hated Sherry’s lady friend, and you could really get along with his assistant.  I think if you can find that relation and really get in tune with the play to the point where you are affected by it, then you can call it nothing less than a job well done. 

I decided to do a painting that would symbolize me.

Post

Discussing this play and the field trip in class made me think…a lot.  One thing that really hit me on the field trip was that these were not kids- they are full grown adults.  Some even looked about 60 years old.  Also, before reading the play I expected them to be young people.  I don’t really think of older people having mental disabilities.  This made me realize though- this isn’t something that goes away.  Over time, people fortunate to not have disabilities grow in mental maturity, but these people don’t really have the opportunity to.  Having a disability is not something that will get better by learning over time and maybe eventually go away, these things last forever.  Like my friend I talked about in my last blog post, he does mentally mature, but just at a slower rate.  Will he get to a point where he stops maturing as a grown adult? I hope not.  It is just sad to see older people with disabilities because, at least it seems like, they don’t have the potential to live the full life…but then maybe they are, maybe they live the full life God intended them to have.

I like in Dr. Fettke’s essay he wrote “if no one can help how he/she is embodied in creation, including the disabled, then it seems very unjust to single out the disabled for their inability to adjust their embodiment.”  I enjoyed this essay as it brought out a lot of things I was unaware of, like how the church doesn’t respond correctly to brothers and sisters with mental disabilities.  God has created them with purposes just like you and me.  They are still created in God’s image and they should be treated as such.  It is looked at to be a mistake or imperfection when somebody is born with a handicap, but only God knows and sees what is truly perfect and he makes no mistakes.

Field Trip to AFI!

Wow.  I didn’t know what to expect this morning at AFI, especially at 9:00 am, but it was a morning well spent.  I was a little worried about going on this field trip because I didn’t know what we were doing.  At first, when I found out that we were going to be taking a tour, I kind if felt bad.  I felt as though it would be like we were treating it like they were parts of a museum.  Luckily, and I am glad, that wasn’t the case.  The people at AFI seemed like they enjoyed us being there and they were used to having people come to the facility.  I thought that this trip was really eye opening.  I didn’t know places like this existed to give jobs, educate, and train mentally disabled adults.  Actually being there and witnessing what goes on on a daily basis for the adults here made me sad in a way.  It was just really strange to see older people not be able to function and live life as other people their age without a disability.  

I wish that there was more I could do to help with these problems.  I myself, do not really know how to interact with people with disabilities.  I guess it goes along with the fact that I cannot interact well with children either.  To be honest, when people were talking to me I was nervous.  I just haven’t been exposed to situations like this very often, and I hate that I don’t know what to do.  I don’t want to be rude, but I don’t know how to interact with them mostly because I don’t know their personal mental capacity and what they know and don’t know, or what they like and don’t like.  I think that it is great that certain people are called to reach out to people with mental disabilities.  I also think that it is great that AFI and other organizations get the funding they need in order to meet these needs.  This was a wonderful experience!

As a little side note, I want to talk about someone I personally know with a mental disability.  It is not too severe; he is about my age but is mentally 2 or so years younger than his physical age.  He can function out in the world too, he is going to school for mechanic work and he does a good job fixing up cars.  He is also the chic-fil-a cow, he likes the kids but mostly he likes scaring them because of the big cow suit.  Going along with the story, I find it okay to laugh sometimes, not at them, but just laugh because of who they are just like we do with our friends.  Most of this laughter I find is because they (or at least Eric) does what we all wish we could do and want to do sometimes, but he is allowed to get away with it.  Like when he gets bored or fed up at work at our church, he takes one of the boats out in the water behind the church and with a megaphone tells his “boss” that he’ll be out there if she needs him, but he’s not coming back, and takes a nap.  I don’t look at him like he has a problem; I look at him like he is like the rest of us, just a hundred times funnier than we’ll ever be. 

Switching styles!

I enjoyed the opportunity to go outside for class again!  Even though some of nature poems by Mary Oliver that were read were of different settings, it was a neat experience to “do” literature in this way.  Being out in nature and examining it really made the poems come to life.  It puts you in the writer’s shoes and allows you to feel what she felt and see what she saw while writing these poems.

Poems aren’t really my thing, so even though I enjoyed them, I am glad we are switching gears on the types of reading.  I really like reading the boys next door.  I also like the fact that it is written in play-form.  This makes it easier to read and a lot easier to picture.  I like how this is just a look into the daily lives of these men, so far there is no real big happening, it’s just how they are on an everyday basis.  I actually find this story to be comical.  Yes, it is sad for them to have a mental handicap, but they are just enjoying life like the rest of us.  It really makes you see that they are people too, their lives just have a little more spice to them. 

I don’t know if I could ever have the patience to work with people who are mentally handicapped, especially on a long term basis.  Some people are cut out for it, and called to it, but that just means you yourself have to have all the more of a stable temperament.  I think I, and most of us would be like Jack.  He obviously has been working this job for some time now, and so he has grown accustom to their ways, but also a little weary.  I think there would be times when I would blow up to, but then like Jack said “Every time I lose my temper with these guys, I hate myself for about a week.”  Of course you would feel bad, they can’t help the way they act, but we are all human and can only take so much craziness.  Overall, I still find this story to be humorous, not that I’m laughing at them, but with them and what they say especially (Arnold threatening to move to Russia and Norman saying “she’s not no skinny minnie herself” and Lucien always repeating himself, as if everything is a song…  I really like these characters.

Lake Bonny visit

"I went to Lake Bonny Park for this field trip, and I stayed there for at least 45 minutes."

Today I went to Lake Bonny Park with Jessica and our friend Laura.  Unfortunately, we went at the hottest part of the day (come on though, its November, it shouldn’t be almost 90 degrees!!), which made the visit not as enjoyable as it could have been.  We did not really walk around much.  We parked and went straight to the dock. 

I had been here once in the spring with someone taking this class last semester and I thought it was a lot nice the time before.  Everything seemed dead and not that pretty to look at.  I also have a really big problem with bugs, and there was a bee harassing me the whole time.  Anyways… se took our quiet time almost as soon as we got to the dock.  The 15 minutes of silence turned into pretty much 35 minutes of silence.  It was nice to sit out in nature and just think and read through nature poems.  One in particular I liked was Walking Home from Oak-Head.  The line “I stand in the same dark peace” really stood out to me.  I love the snow and cold weather.  To some people it is dark and dreary but to me I find peace in it.  I can relax and feel in presence of God in cool or even cold snowy weather over the heat any day.  Even though everything feels cold and dead in those times, inside I can feel the warmth and that spiritual fire. 

Walking around helped me see the beauty of nature at the lake.  For some reason water is really beautiful to me.  Even if it is nasty up close, from far away nearly all bodies of water have a sense of adornment to them.  While walking out, there were a bunch of butterflies in one area that were stripped and colorful.  It’s always amazing to me how detailed little things such as a butterfly’s wings can be.  This shows that in nature, God is so evident.

One

Wilted, dead trees and brush

Flowers not in bloom

The only life seems to be frightening creatures

Bees, wasps, all elicit darkness and harm

Mosquitoes to suck the life out of you

Seasons come and go

For nature, I mean

This death lasts for a time

Then will come rebirth

Will this season of bright bloom come for us too?

It will someday…it will

Two

 Butterflies bursting with colors

 Waters glistening in the sun

 Rolling with peace

Birds slashing in the bath

 The sky is bright

 Puffy clouds up ahead

 The silence,  the stillness, the peace

 In every instance God is here

 The beauty of creation- its ours to behold

Nature

When I first read the poem State of The Planet by Robert Hass, I’ll be honest, I didn’t understand it at all.  So much so that I did more skimming that in depth reading because I had no idea what it was talking about.  Reading it as a class and going over it as a whole really helped me a lot, though I don’t fully understand it still.  After going through the images on the power point, the poem came alive and I can see it now as a very vivid story.

I liked going over the “nature poems” of scripture in class.  I thought it was a little silly because they are taken out of context for the sake of looking like a nature poem, but I nonetheless see where it plays in.  I see these scriptures as a reminder that we are to adore God’s creation.  I think this appreciation comes differently for different people.  For me, I love being outside in cool air around fall time, maybe in the mountains.  There I find a sort of essence of God, not that that is the only place God can be, but that is where I am most apt to soak in the beauty he has displayed around us.  It is where I can sit in silence and become hungry for God, like in the line of Hass’ poem “she’s one of those who’s only hungry metaphorically.” 

I think the reason we don’t see nature as something amazing is because we are used to it.  Something that we see everyday usually loses its flair.  But then when we see parts of nature such as waterfalls and colorful tropical forests, we are astounded by the wonderful creation of it.  I think it is important for us to see and experience new things often.  It serves as a reminder of how marvelous and big our God really is.

Class Discussion

I am not sure what to write about to this blog because I certainly did not understand any of the poems we had to read for next class.  Even looking up words I didn’t know didn’t help.  I am not good with poetry because I feel like people put random things together and expect them to make sense. 

I guess for this post I will write about our discussion in class.  In class we talked about the use to cuss words in literature.  Corrigan pointed out that they are used sometimes to stress the degree of anger or expression by someone.  I think though, that they are unnecessary.  You can say something else and still make it as strong as if you used a cuss word.  I understand that this class is to expose us to all sorts of literature and view things the way the world does, but don’t you think we are already exposed to it enough?  I know I am at least, having gone through public schools up to this point.  It sort of makes me think that there is no good Christian literature out there that isn’t corny or a love story.  Personally, whenever reading the texts for class it is a distraction whenever I come across a cuss word.  I will be enjoying the story and then I get distracted because of the fact that I have to read things at a Christian University about subjects I myself should strive to stay away from, such as cussing and a big one that comes up in our readings, sex.

It was argued in class that it doesn’t say don’t cuss in the bible so it is okay.  Which I 100 percent disagree with because it in fact is in the bible it just doesn’t say “don’t say these specific words.”  Also, it was pointed out that in some cultures it is not offensive to say certain words, but as Christians we are not to conform to culture- we are supposed to be set apart.  Like in the example of being a minister to gangs…just because they cuss doesn’t mean you have to so they don’t think you think that you are better than them.  That’s like saying well they kill people, so you should too. 

At the end of Romans 12:17 it say “Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.”  To me that mean that cussing, along with drinking and other things, the world knows that “Christians don’t do that” and therefore to not look like hypocrites and to not lead anyone astray, we should not do them.

Lectio Divina

For this post I decided to do my own Lectio Divina on a poem that could be spiritually related, and at the end I tried to look a little beyond and before the text.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

-Robert Frost

Lectio: sorry I could not travel both, bent, having perhaps the better claim and that has made all the difference

Meditatio:  Although one way may look better before the bend, it may not always be the best route to choose.

Oratio: “Lord, as I am looking down two paths to take help me to choose the right one.  One may look better than the other at the moment, but I want to take the path you want me to be on.  I can’t see the ending of either one, so I am a little frightful of which to choose.  Make it clear which way you want me to go Lord, and I will wear that path down as I follow it till the end.”

            “In this world full of choices help me to keep on the straight and narrow.  God, in those times where the other road looks so inviting and the world makes it seem as the “better claim” guide me away from it.  Although it may seem like in is the road less traveled to follow you, I know it will make all the difference.  In times where I feel as though I should be ashamed (sigh) or when I doubt, shine your light on the right path.  I want to give a sigh of relieve when it is over.  Always remind me that you are there and others are making that path worn with me.  And after I cross that bend that I can’t see pass, all the glory will be to you for I know you have great things beyond that bend.”

Sonny's Blues

As with all of the stories read for this class, while I am reading I look for the answer to the question “why did Corrigan have us read this particular story?”  I guess this takes away from reading the stories sometimes, especially when I can’t find the answer to that question.  This story was one of those examples.  It also was hard to follow.

I pretty much understood this story, until the ending.  Not to sound cynical or anything, but to me it seemed just like every other story about an African American family living in the projects.  All of the hardships seem to be the same, death, alcoholic family members, drugs, and family problems, just seen in a different way. 

Not to say I necessarily didn’t like this story, a few things did stick out to me.  One was when Sonny was talking about joining the army or some branch of the military.   His reason was “to get out of Harlem.”  This upset me a little.  I just had a conversation with a friend from back home before reading this story about how he wasn’t to join the military.  I specifically asked him why he wanted to, sincerely because he wants to serve his country or because it’s the only thing he think he can do.  It makes me sad when people use the military-which is pretty much a death trap- to escape their current life.  There is so much more you can do than to throw your life away just because you are unhappy with the way it is right now.

This story as a whole, all of the problems Sonny had gone through touched me, especially because he was so young.  At first, I thought Sonny was older, so it didn’t bother me as much.  God has placed  a compassion in me for youth who struggle, no matter what it is- hurt, drugs, drinking, self-harm, anything like that so this story made me want to reach of to Sonny in some way.  I am glad though, that he found some sort of escape which was his music.  At least he could take all of his troubles and find a peace with them by letting out his emotions in music.

A wonderful classtime OUTSIDE!

I have really enjoyed the past week in this class.  Writing the short story was by far my favorite blog post thus far.  It allowed me to be creative and let my imagination do the work, not just my mind reflecting on some story we read.  My story was a sort of love story, but not a typical one.  The main character was round and towards the end dynamic.  The only other character, “me”, was flat because I did not explain myself hardly at all, expect for my thoughts about the main character.  I would say that my character shifts between static or dynamic. 

My favorite part of this assignment was going outside and talking about our stories in a group.  I think that my group was perfect- all of the stories in some way related to me.  One thing in particular that we talked about after reading each story was why did you write this? What was on your mind at the time?  I really didn’t think mine had any significance, just a random fiction story, but I realized that my story did hold some truth to it.  Topics and situations that were on my mind at the time came out in my writing.  I would say that mine was more of a wishful thinking type of story, but it revealed a lot about the way I thought.  The last line couple lines, “’Why do you cover yourself up?’ I asked him.  Without him saying anything, as if a voice from heaven I heard “for you.”  At that moment I knew what he (somehow)knew all along.  He was the one I have been looking for.  I was the one he had been waiting for,” really puts my mind and spirit into writing.  I didn’t notice this though, until after I wrote it and we were discussing the question as to why we wrote what we did on the other stories.  Waiting especially and looking have really been on my heart lately in dealing with some things.  I think it’s crazy that our inner thoughts can subconsciously come out when we do things such as writing.

Like I said before, I really enjoyed the other stories too.   There were bits and pieces in each of that that really spoke to me and it seemed that most of them had some commonality within them.

The boy that noone ever saw. The boy that I never saw.

*Disclaimer: It may seem like it at first, but this is not a creeper story.  And it may not make sense.  I really can't get whats in my head out on paper.

There he was again.  The strange, mysterious boy walking around with that same black hoodie covering what seemed to be all if his skin that could possibly show.  By this time it was fall, so jackets were typical, but the fact that his whole head was covered… night and day, in and outside of classes…this is why it was unusual.  No one ever saw his face.  No one ever wanted to. 

Everyone avoided him, yet everyone’s stares and comments didn’t.  All that I heard of this boy was that he was weird.  So many rumors and stories went around I didn’t know which to believe.  The reason he wore the coat, I heard, was to hide his face because he was so ugly.  Some said he had a deformity.  Others said he was just…well…ugly.  He never talked to anyone.  Always walked around swiftly in his dark colored converse shoes with his hands in his jean pockets, and never would take a glance at anyone.  Even when others would say things to him, he’d just keep walking, ignoring them.  This was Jay.  Or at least that is what everyone called him.  Some said it was J as in he was a joke.  I want sure what to think of it.

For some reason I was always curious about this boy called Jay.  Every time I would see him walk by on campus I was always drawn to him for some reason, not in any way of affection but pure curiosity. I wasn’t afraid of him as everyone else seemed to be.   As if I was interested in finding out who this mysterious person with no face was. 

I would see this boy more and more over time.  It seemed like he enjoys being outside, as did I.  I would see him walking up and down the hills on campus, or sitting under the trees where red and orange leaves graced the ground.  Sometimes I even watched in as he walked off into the woods on the far side of campus.  I wondered what he was doing back there all by himself.  Or if he was even by himself.  Even though this sounds really strange, I never had suspicions of anything bad or the least bit crazy going on.   It all just caused honest curiosity. 

Then came this one day.  This one day that felt different from the time I woke up, but I had no idea why.  It was late afternoon and I was sitting outside on the patch of grass on a small hill as I do every day after classes to read and think.  He walked by on his way to wherever he goes at this time as usual.  Then suddenly it happened, the one thing that I had been “waiting” on all day to fill that peculiar feeling inside of me.  J, or Jay looked over at me.  It was a short glance, but I felt it- a direct look at me with maybe even a smile.  Yet, sadly, I still did not see his face and he kept on walking.  I wasn’t sure what to think of this.  Obviously it wasn’t an accident.  There it was, a feeling inside me rose up and I knew- “Why God?? Why me? Why do I have to be the one to talk to him?” I thought.  But then again, I still had this intense curiosity of who this boy was.  I had no idea how or when do go about doing this. 

Days past.  From that day on this was a reoccurring event.  I sat in the same spot after classes and Jay walked by and looked over, but I never got up the courage to talk to him.  What would I say? What would he do?  I just shrugged it off though I really want to go for it.  Over a week had past, and I expected it to be a normal day.  Jay would walk past, he would look and I would feel that slight smile from him, but on this day that didn’t happen.  He did walk past and look but this time he didn’t smile, it felt sort of like a frown, disappointment.

So then I did what I had to.  I ran over to the mysterious boy in the black hoodie.  “Hey!” I said, and surprisingly he said hi back in a rather deep voice.

“I see you walking all the time by yourself, can I walk with you?” I asked.

He gave a little chuckle and replied “of course.”

We walked around the campus for a while and talked.  I asked him why he never talks to anyone and is always alone.  I didn’t get far with that.  It seemed like that wasn’t important to him, sort of like he didn’t realize it.  We walked for about an hour and for some reason it seemed so normal.  He seemed so normal.  There must be something underneath that hood that makes him different I thought, but I didn’t dare ask. 

Since then this was an everyday occurrence.  Instead of sitting in my usual spot I spent my time finding out who this boy was.  His favorite color is blue.  He likes football.  His name IS Jay.  Jaysen to be exact.  He is studying history.  He wants to someday change the world.  He plays guitar and sings, and even let me hear him a couple times.  We talk about life.  He helps me understand myself in ways I couldn’t on my own. And still…I have never seen his face.

-------------------------------

It was like any other, a crisp chilly autumn afternoon, my favorite.  “Come with me” he said.  I followed him to the woods where I saw him walk to before.  I haven’t been back here much, but it was beautiful! I could see why he came back here to get away from everything.  He pulled me towards him, his soft hands gripping mine.  He lifted his hands to the top of his head, and slowly pulled back his hood.  I didn’t know what to expect, to be honest I was a little worried.  Would all of these wonderful qualities be wiped away with one glance at his face? 

He lowered his hands back down to his side and smiled at me unashamed.  All I could do was stare at him, shocked.  To my amazement he was…perfect.  Short dark brown hair and gleaming green eyes, a wonderful smile. 

“Why do you cover yourself up?” I asked him.  Without him saying anything, as if a voice from heaven I heard “for you.” 

At that moment I knew what he (somehow)knew all along.  He was the one I have been looking for.  I was the one he had been waiting for.

This Blessed House

Like most of the rest of the class, I did not do my reading for last class so I missed out on the discussion.  I might be lost on some points because of it, but here is what I got out of it:

Reading through This Blessed House at first, I was looking for something to happen.  The story kept building up and building up and I was waiting for a big twist or just something to happen in the story to give it a plot.  Then I was on the last page...still waiting for it, and much to my disappointment it didn’t come.  I can see that Professor Corrigan clearly gave us this reading assignment to focus on character, not for the entertainment of a story.

Throughout the story you could really see all five points we are to look for in Sanjeev as laid out in the notes on character: “physical description, what they say, the things they do, the way others respond to then, and their thoughts.”  The only character traits we can know of Twinkle is only Sanjeev’s description and thoughts of her.  Even though, Twinkle is more described than Sanjeev is leaving her to be round while he is flat.  I am not sure what label to put on wither of them dealing with dynamic and static.  Although Twinkle shows more to be excited and curious, she doesn’t change much throughout the story.  Sanjeev changes some, because he lets her keep the items in the house but I don’t think he changed in a dramatic way, so I think they are both static. 

As far as the story itself goes, I did enjoy reading it.  Like I said before though, it didn’t really have a climax or resolution so it seems to be unfinished.  Unfortunately, since they are Hindu they do not understand the sacredness of some items of Christianity, so it was a little sad.  It did made me think, what would I do if it was the other way around, if I found items of a different religion in a new house I bought?  To be honest, I would be a little freaked out if I found them hidden all over the house, but I do like learning about different religions and I too might keep something relating to one if I found it.

painting!

“ Blood, fire and columns of smoke.
    "The sun will be turned into darkness
         And the moon into blood
         Before the great and awesome day of the LORD comes.”

In class on Thursday we painted.  This was an interesting (that’s the best way I can think to describe it) activity.  I am horrible at taking what’s in my mind and putting it onto paper.  I was laughing the whole time at how horrible my painting was coming out.  A couple people at my table made their really abstract, and my mind does not work like that so I was a little intimidated when I looked at theirs compared to mine.  I overall like the idea of my painting though.  I started with the grass; I tried to make the earth look all old and dying.  The sky I had painted black to symbolize all of the darkness.  The big mess looking thing coming from the ground is supposed to be smoke and fire.  The biggest part of the painting I focused on was in the sky.  I did the moon turned red with the sun behind it turning dark.  Since the moon was blood I made it drip down to the earth.  The white part is a dove-like creature coming down as God’s promise from the light of heaven painted in the corner.  When I was finished my painting I decided to add something not from the book of Joel.  Doing this activity made me think of the destruction today as well in the future.  Therefore, I painted a symbol of hell opening up and releasing creatures.  The creatures represent false prophets and “anti-Christs” coming to the deceive people.  To show this I made them light colored with a streak of blue (blue is represented in the heaven corner) to signify their disguise.  After all of the laugher and astonishment at how ugly my paining was, I sort of liked it because of the ideas I put into it.

I am excited to shift the literature from doom and gloom to character.  The tea story was a little confusing but I like how it goes into detail about the character:  “I noticed that the silver of her hair was laced with an astonishing gold, like those threads woven so deftly throughout a tapestry  to trap the light.” 

Death and doom or gracious redemption? Joel

Going over the book of Joel in class on Tuesday really helped me understand it better.  Hearing things from another’s perspective is always beneficial. 

I like the fact that we get to do non-typical things in this class.  I thought that going outside and “reading to nature” was a little weird at first, but I enjoyed it.  I guess to me, it kind of felt like we were proclaiming to the earth what was going to happen.  Like we have dominion over if because we are children of God.  For some of the time I just looked out on the water and tried to picture in my mind how it’s going to be when the Lord does return.  How all of the things around us are just temporal and will all be destroyed one day.  It also gave me a chance to appreciate the creation God gave to us.  (Minus the thousand ant bites I got on my feet) 

Until we went back to class and discussed it again, I thought the book of Joel was a literal prophesy.  Though we don’t know for sure, it makes sense if it is taken metaphorically.  I mean, I would imagine that in the last days these things could happen such as starvation and drought and even the swarm of locust, but if it is taken metaphorically, I can see it as all of the hurt and the bad things in the world around us even today. 

Professor Corrigan liked the lines “Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision! For the day of the LORD is near in the valley of decision.”  I think that this is talking about people deciding to accept and follow Christ or not.  The second like I think is saying that the time is drawing near and we can’t waiver in the “valley” of making that decision.

Joel

In class on Thursday we did what I have most when it comes to literature- poems.  For some reason, I cannot understand poems unless someone else explains them to me.  Especially the ones we did in class, which I still don’t fully get.  The whole concept of them though, was that in the midst of darkness there is still hope.  I guess you can look at it as while we are still on this earth there will always be some sort of bad mixed in with the good because nothing here can be perfect.  Everything we’ve been reading so far has had some kind of a dark under tones, I am hoping as the year goes on we get to read more light, uplifting things.  I like how the author, even though wasn’t a Christian acknowledged that hope comes from above (still there are creatures cautiously walking...green red, green red).

The book of Joel I think is one of the harder books of the bible to completely understand because of the fact that it is a poem.  It talks about the different plagues that will destroy the land, but then the redemption of God comes.  Even though it talks most about devastation, this book is about God’s redemption of his people.  Even though the world is thrown to chaos, God’s promises still remain.  It names it clear that the so call “war of the world” is God’s and not ours.  I guess a big idea of the book of Joel is trust.  Trust that through hard times where no hope is in sight, God is still making a way.  We as Christians should look at this book as light not dark.  For us none of these things shall stand, and for us God will avenge.

As a side: I am a little concerned for the painting project on Thursday because I cannot paint or draw or do anything artsy whatsoever, but it will be interesting.

Darkness

This essay on darkness and hope really opened up my eyes.  We always tend to look for concrete answers on why things happen, but what we really need to do is just sit and meditate on a situation.  Worrying and asking where is God will only cause chaos when just letting the moment of darkness sink in will reveal a higher hope.

It is one thing to talk about getting through a time of darkness, but it is not until we experience it ourselves that we can honestly understand how to get through it with that hope.  Sometimes when we are going through a time of darkness, we often try to hide it.  Like hiding it will make it go away or something.  I like how in the essay it quotes “one must die to an unreal life before he can be born into the real life.”  There is a so called “perfect life” we like to try and make others believe we live; instead of embracing our human nature and realizing we all suffer darkness.  In reality we all have some sort of our own personal darkness.  Things we struggle with, bad things that have happened in our life and things we’d be ashamed of if others knew of. 

Last year I was struggling with something, and if I would have just looked to the people God put around me, I would have not lost hope in the midst of darkness.  We are created to help one another, and therefore our darkness should not be our own, but in a way shared.  This is what gets us through darkness and develops that hope. 

Darkness and suffering are never good words to hear, but they really do allow you to grow in your walk with Christ. We are pretty much required to go through darkness to live the full life intended for us.

Romans 5:3-5 “only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”

Cemetery

I went to the Lakeview, Roselawn and Tiger Flowers cemetery complex for this fieldtrip, and I stayed there for at least 40 minutes.

I noticed that there were a lot of babies and young children in this cemetary. It made me think of how today there are so many babies killed because of abortion, yet there are children not even a day old who have a nice headstone and plot just for them.  It seems like people had a higher regard for life back then.
 That and just being in the cemetary really makes you realize about how precious and short life is. 

Grief

Reading CS Lewis ‘A Grief Observed’ was a little difficult for me. One because of the way he wrote and also because I have never had to deal with grief like that. The whole time I was reading I kept asking myself “is this the CS Lewis everyone talks about to be a great Christian writer?” We had talked about how questioning God is healthy and even biblical, but I think there is a difference between questioning God’s work and questioning God’s existence. This book seemed to me a little on the side of him doubting God. I can relate with his roller-coaster mood though about how he feels completely distraught one moment, then as he goes back and reads what he wrote he questions himself as to why he would say such things. Towards the end of the book, he shows his faith in God as he continues this sort of grieving process.


I liked how he wrote “Of course it is different when the thing happens to oneself, not to others, and in reality, not in imagination” because that is where I am in my mind. Fortunately, I have never experienced the death of someone close to me, so I can sympathize for someone, but I know it will be different when I am the one grieving.  Another thing that stuck out to me was when he was talking about revisiting the grave site of lost loved ones.  Does this cause more hurt and pain or is it okay for us to go "see" them? 

Being at the cemetery reading this book made death seem so…real. As we were looking at the gravestones the people I was with were asking things like where we want to be buried and if our husbands died before us would we place a headstone for us on the plot beside them so we can be buried next to them when we die, things I wouldn’t normally think or ask myself. It really puts things into perspective that death is real and we need to live our life to the fullest while we still have the chance.

Field Trip

On Tuesday we had class in the cafeteria. I liked being able to do class outside the actual classroom for a change. I thought that the idea of being able to have lunch with our groups gave it more of a relaxed and comfortable setting. I did though, think it was pretty hard to talk about literature for at least an hour, it was hard (especially since we were in the loud restaurant) to get side tracked and talk about things that didn’t have to do with literature.


At first I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to bring to class because I really don’t have any non school-related books here. After reading Little Red Riding Hood in the textbook, I decided to bring in a fairy tale. I brought in Goldilocks and the Three Bears. There was no real reason behind that particular one, just that people sometimes call me goldilocks, and it’s one that everyone knows. I figured that we, like in the text, could find the moral to the story and relate it to society today like in the questions we were supposed to answer. Shockingly, this was much much harder than I thought it would be. I had to re-read the story a couple times and still may not know what the actual moral or theme is to it. The idea my group came down to was that it’s saying to not be so mean to people? Or on the other side, it’s like a story of forgiveness on the bear’s part that he still wanted to be friends with the girl even though she broke into their house and was mean to him before that day.

The piece of literature most talked about in our group was the Chronicles of Narnia. We discussed how this relates metaphorically to the bible, especially about creation. Overall, I enjoyed this “field trip” we had.

Theme and Moral

Chapter three of the Literary Experience talks about theme. It points out that usually if you are specifically looking for a theme; it takes away from the rest of the piece of literature. This is true for me. Whenever I am assign certain tasks such as looking for a theme I focus only on that and not even notice the other elements. It is important to realize though, that those other things such as emotion helps you to understand what the text actually means. Looking at those things helps find the inner themes like in the songwe listened to in class, every detail had to be looked at the the the meaning(s) of the song.
Reading the different versions of Little Red Riding Hood made me look at fairytales a completely new way. When we were little, we didn’t look for what the theme or the moral of the story is, it was just simply entertainment. When you look back on the story, it is kind of a shocking idea to instill in little kids- like in this story, using a wolf eating a grandmother and little girl to symbolize kidnappings or even the work of pedophile. Yes, the problems that the morals present do exist, but it seems a little crazy to be in a children’s fairy tale. Aren’t those supposed to be happy nice stories? On the other hand, I think this is a great example of how the moral of a story goes deeper than the literature itself and leads to questioning and application to life.

The Note to Student Writers section was helpful and on point with the way we think. One thing I really like about Corrigan’s classes is that he does give us the opportunity to take the right approach to something rather than making sure we have the exactly right answers.

Love

This world revolves around love. The song, play, and story we read for class, sadly, does show how love is today. Both the song and the story talk about how people do crazy things for love. I think though, that people who go to measures like that might want to be loved more than they really do love the person. People are insecure (not excluding myself) with themselves and define themselves in their love or acceptance of other people.


As Christians, we are supposed to love as God loves. God’s love is unconditional, unlike in this story when Mel thinks that you can love (a deep love) anyone solely based on if they are in a relationship with that person This is nearly impossible though because for us, it is imperfect loving imperfect, and therefore the love itself cannot be perfect. We can try our best, but our love is always going to have faults. And in return, the greatest love is to love someone despite their faults. Love to me is willingness to do anything for the other person to prove how much you care for them.

This world’s view of love is so distorted. Love today is sex, ownership, and self-seeking pleasure. Love should be a conjoined effort and attraction between both people. It is always a work in process, and won’t work if one loves more than the other. People want to bail out when things get rough. But is that really love? Do you really truly, deeply love someone if you leave the PERSON because of the SITUAION?



If only it were really that easy to go back and start over like in the play, whenever things got awkward or a little shaky. How easy this little thing called “love” could be!

Literary Profile

Starting this blog, I couldn’t recall an early memory of literature. The only thing that came to mind was Goodnight Moon. However, taking some time to think about it, I remember all the Beatrice Potter (Peter Rabbit) book that are still stored in a box at my house. My grandma would always went me stuffed animals and the story books they went along with. Also, my “literary collection” continued to grow with Bearnstien Bear books on to Goosebumps, and ended shortly after that. Like with some other things, I would want to be like my older sister and I would steal her books as a kid because I wanted to read what she read. Unfortunately, that only lasted until about middle school. Ever since then, I have not been much of a reader at all. Literature would only play a role in my life within English classes, if that.


Although I am still not much of a reader, when I find a work and actually finish it, I enjoy it. Recently I look to literature that will in a way impact and benefit me. Lately I have been attracted to books by Christian authors like Francis Chan. Not to sound cliché or anything, but the most significant literary text to me has to be the bible. It has all different forms or literature, poems, songs, instruction, and story. It is something that can always catch my attention although I already know essentially what it is about. It is one thing I don’t have to read cover to cover and it is so influential to life.

Literature matters because no matter what you do in life, there will always be something that requires reading. Also, literature gives guidance and provides a different lens to look through. On the other hand literature does not matter in the sense of novels and such because it is not really an essential to life.